Unexpected Gifts

(Photos added on July 29)

I met LN when we were in seventh grade. I had just moved into Corvallis, Oregon and our English teacher, Mrs. Anderson, paired us together for a class project. 

Neither of us is exactly sure how this happened, but we somehow have stayed in touch through all these years. At some point we found ourselves both living on the east coast. I became a teacher. She became a pilot. We lived a distance from each other but still set aside one or two times each year to hike and catch up.

After October 7th I was dreading our first hike. 

We met up (in the rain) and I named it immediately.

"I don't know how this is going to go today. I'm a completely different person now after October 7th and I don't know if you're going to understand it."

She was thrown at first. Without being Jewish herself, living around any other Jews, or following news that she didn't have to, I don't think she was aware that this might be an important event for me (and other Jews) and possibly the most life-altering communal events of our lives. 

So she stumbled a little through the first part of the conversation, basically saying she didn't know that much about it, doesn't like war in general and hasn't been following the news closely, but then she just made clear that she would listen.

What a gift!

So I talked. I talked and talked and talked. My first time speaking to a non-Jew about what this was like for me without that person stating an opinion, questioning or redirecting me. She just listened.

And she said things like, "That's awful. No one should ever have to go through that."

And, "I'm a woman pilot in a man's industry. I know what it's like to be gaslit!" 

This year when U and I decided on this Israel trip, LN asked if she could come visit us here. She's been all around the world and sometimes even has a day or two to explore the places she flies, but had not yet been to Israel. 

So we've now just finished off a week together. I'm still blown away by her approach that was totally different than from anybody else I know. 

When we saw the young IDF soldiers carrying big guns around she said of course she understood why. She has been to plenty of countries that have active armies and she knows that when someone is assigned a gun they have to keep it on them all the time. 

When we went to the Kotel she dressed appropriately, sat and took in the spirit of the place.

We went to religious sites and historical sites and we hiked and haggled (she with far more expertise than me!) with store keepers.

On Shabbat she turned off her phone to see what it felt like.

She asked lots and lots and lots of great questions.

And she got so hooked on the utterly hypnotic Shtisel that she was binge watching it in Ben Gurion Airport right up until her plane arrived. 

I never would have predicted in middle school that we would travel together in Israel some day over thirty years later. 

I also never would have predicted how important a gift from a friend could be -- just to listen and experience and be curious with me.